Enrich your relationships

Do you feel that the Dynamics of a relationship can shift after being together for 30,40,50 even 60 years?

Quick answer is YES! However both parties must be willing to shift their perspectives and beliefs. Many of which need to be trashed and recreated. 

Start to notice the roles each person plays in the relationship.

This is the concept of a mirror universe. The people and situations in our life all come into our reality to give you a message/lesson. Sometimes but not always- how the other person acts is reflecting back to you something you need to look at in your own behavior. This is the hardest part- looking in the mirror.  

Questions to ask yourself- Is this experience working for me or against me? Am I empowering or disempowering the other person?  Does my life flow easily or is it a struggle all the time?

Example-  One partner might be very particular about how stuff is done. When the other person does something for the partner and is immediately criticized, do you think they feel called to do something else for them ?  NO- Probably not. 

No one wants to be told what to do or be corrected all the time. 

Solution- Honor each other for the way they do things - we all have our natural talents. FYI- no two people on the planet load a dishwasher the same- Just Saying - LET IT GO!

Action- Complement them when they do things you like and appreciate. 

Then more things will be done to your liking- they will learn your preferences (most of the time)

Communication is so key in these matters. Also saying things without judgement which translates into tone of voice or abruptness of action. 

As always talking calmly about your feelings helps tremendously. As does being comfortable expressing those feelings in front of each other. 

Using these principles can strengthen a relationship even a long held one. 

Its like breathing new life onto hot coals and suddenly a flame appears. 

It is good to ignite your flame every once in a while. This gives us the purpose for living. Otherwise life is just dull and boring. 

For me personally it has taken most of my 20 yr relationship with my loving patient husband for me to realize this concept. BTW - I am the particular one -most of the time. So lesson learned but I still need gentle reminding. 

As always take this concept and make it your own, find what works best in your life.